Dear Friends -
This week’s newsletter is written especially for my single readers. I would be remiss if I did not talk about the premiere of The Golden Bachelor Season 2, since it has quickly become part of the cultural conversation around aging, dating, and what love can look like later in life. The show launched with both promise and controversy, which makes it a meaningful lens to explore the choices and freedoms available to us in this stage of life.
The Golden Bachelor: First Night’s Promise and Questions
The Setup and the Drama
Mel Owens, 66, stepped into the lead role. Before he even met the women on stage, the shadow of controversy trailed him. Months ago, on a Michigan-affiliated podcast, he said he preferred women aged 45 to 60 and that he would “cut” anyone over 60. He went further, referencing “artificial hips,” wigs, and physical fitness in dismissive terms.
In reviews, critics called it a dissonant start. The Washington Post described the premiere as awkward, given that the show’s premise is about celebrating romance in later life. People magazine noted that contestants confronted him directly, pressing him to explain and apologize.
Mel opened the evening by acknowledging the backlash. He called his earlier comments insensitive and unfair, and asked for a chance to regain trust. He gave his first impression rose to Gerri, 64, and later eliminated contestants, including a few who had challenged him earlier.
In an interview after the premiere, Mel told TheWrap he had “no frame of reference” for dating later in life, having been married for 25 years and largely out of the dating world for decades. He said his apology was sincere, and that he is committed to doing the work of earning trust every day.
What the Critics and Viewers Are Saying
The Washington Post noted the tension between the celebratory premise and the flawed human lead.
People highlighted that many contestants appreciated that the elephant in the room was addressed head-on, describing it as a collective sigh of relief.
Glamour traced how Mel’s comments inflamed backlash, then were absorbed into a redemption narrative.
Some fans condemned the comments as misogynistic and ageist, arguing that they undercut what a show called Golden should represent.
Others gave him some grace, suggesting he misspoke out of ignorance or clumsiness rather than malice.
What stood out was that the show did not avoid the controversy. It leaned into it. The cast pressed him, the rhetoric was on display, and the producers chose not to erase it.
Not Everyone Is Here for Marriage
One of the most important shifts I see among people in their third act is that not everyone is chasing marriage. Many women in midlife are intentionally decentering men in their emotional lives. This choice is valid, wise, and courageous.
When you have lived long enough to see dreams fracture, love betray, and seasons shift, being intentional about what you want becomes sacred. For some, that means deepening friendships, pursuing passions, self-care, or legacy work. Romance can be a bonus, not the centerpiece. When it is a desire, it is a choice, not an obligation.
Decentering does not mean shutting men out. It means keeping yourself as the axis so you do not collapse when love disappoints. It means you own your time, your desires, and your boundaries. It means saying no when love is not aligned, and yes when it is.
So when a show like The Golden Bachelor frames marriage as the default victory, remember that you can watch it, critique it, enjoy it, or resist it. You do not have to let it define your story.
Experience Brings Discernment
By this stage of life, we have miles in our souls. We have seen infatuation, heartbreak, compromise, growth, endings, and new beginnings. All that experience is a reservoir we carry forward. Let it sharpen us rather than harden us.
When it comes to romantic relationships now, the most important guidance is to trust yourself. You know what you will and will not tolerate. You sense red flags earlier. You recognize patterns before they fully form. That wisdom is a gift.
Here are a few reminders to carry into this season:
You are the author of your emotional life. You do not need permission for desire, joy, or partnership.
Be intentional. If love is part of your next act, define what form it will take, what values you will honor, and what boundaries you must protect.
If solitude, generativity, or self-nurture is your path, that is equally worthy. Do not let cultural scripts tell you otherwise.
When you open your heart, let it come from strength rather than scarcity. The love you give or receive should add to your life rather than attempt to heal old wounds.
As The Golden Bachelor continues with its missteps, redemptions, dramas, and surprises, may we each stay curious. We can learn from its romantic chase without surrendering our sovereignty to its narrative.
Here’s to charting our own maps of love in our own time and in our own way.
Cara Gray
Third Act Consultant, CPRC, CEPA™️
P.S.S. If you want to start planning your third act, set up a time on my calendar for a chat: Schedule a Chat with Cara