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Dear Friends -
When was the last time you felt truly alive?
Not just comfortable or content, but energized. Present. Connected. Laughing with people you like while doing something that makes you lose track of time.
I recently came across a framework from writer Ben James called The Aliveness Quadrant, and it stopped me in my tracks. His theory is simple: our activities fall into one of four boxes, based on two factors — whether we’re creating or consuming, and whether we’re doing it alone or together.
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Here’s how it breaks down:
Most of us spend time in the bottom left or top right boxes. We either create alone, which can be satisfying but often isolating, or we consume together, which is easy and pleasant but not deeply nourishing.
The magic, says Ben, happens in Quadrant Four — creating together.
That’s where life feels electric.
It’s where the memories live.
It’s where we feel most human.
The Missing Quadrant in Midlife
In my work with clients planning their next chapter, I see this pattern again and again. Once the structure of work life fades, many people quietly lose their connection to Quadrant Four. The projects, collaborations, and creative challenges that once filled their days get replaced with individual pursuits.
It’s not bad — it’s just quieter. But it can leave life feeling flat.
Reclaiming aliveness means finding your way back to creating with others.
That might mean starting a small side venture, leading a community project, joining a makerspace, or collaborating on a local event. It might mean calling up a friend and saying, “Let’s make something again.”
Quadrant Four requires a little courage. It means initiating, inviting, and sometimes risking a “no.” But it’s also the fastest way to reignite purpose and joy.
Aliveness as an Act Three Strategy
Act Three is about designing a life that fits like a glove — and that means intentionally making space for shared creation. You might not need another hobby. You might need a partner in crime.
Here are a few ways to start:
Collaborate across generations. Mentor a younger entrepreneur or join forces on a creative project.
Join or form a group. A writing circle, a local arts collective, or a volunteer team that builds something new.
Revisit a past collaboration. Who used to bring out your creative spark? Reach out and see what could happen next.
Say yes to the uncomfortable. Most people avoid Quadrant Four because it requires effort and social courage. But that’s exactly why it’s so alive.
AI Prompt: Find Your Quadrant Four
Try this simple reflection prompt:
“List five moments in your life when you felt most alive. What were you doing, and who were you with? Which quadrant do those experiences belong in?”
Then ask AI (or journal) this follow-up:
“How could I create more opportunities like that in the next 90 days?”
Final Thought
Ben James wrote that “Quadrant Four is where the greatest memories are made.”
I agree.
So much of Act Three is about rediscovering the places and people that bring you back to life. As you think about what’s next, ask yourself: When do I feel most alive — and how can I make that a regular part of my week?
Because your next chapter isn’t about slowing down. It’s about coming alive again.
Cara Gray
Third Act Consultant, CPRC, CEPA™️
P.S.S. If you want to start planning your third act, set up a time on my calendar for a chat: Schedule a Chat with Cara